I'm sorry that I don't remember the particular comedian's name but, when asked what a fish logo on the back of a car means, he replied, "Somebody doesn't know how to spell Jesus".
To me, it means that the soldier in front of me is going to make my trip hell. I've been paying attention this a lot lately and the odds are that if I find myself behind a fishmonger, then I'll be crying out, "Jesus Christ,would you please learn how to drive before you get us killed!". I don't know if this an overwhelming trend specific only to the ever sprawling Atlanta metro area or if others are suffering from it as well but someone needs to step up so I guess it will be me offering up a word to the pious.
Just because you're looking for Jesus doesn't mean that it's acceptable for you to drive twelve miles below the speed limit, suddenly speed up to twenty miles over said limit only to suddenly hit the brakes and drop down to 21 in the 40 zone. What are you doing up there, reading the good book? Isn't that out on tape already? Besides, if Jesus is so hard to find, try asking God - he's your co-pilot, right?! I don't want to start any blasphemous rumours but, really, the only difference between you and the asshole swerving in out of the other lane while chatting on the phone and flossing his teeth is that you have declared your convictions via a logo: in essence, you're an asshole with an easily recognized logo and equally as dangerous to those of us you believe need to be saved. And no matter how many times your inability to focus on more than one thing scares the hell out of me, I still won't believe in your vision. But, should you succeed in getting me killed and it turns out you were right, I'm sure you will be the first to say, "Told you so".
Which brings me to Depeche Mode; the little synthpop band that everyone who ever dipped their ears in the water just outside of the mainstream used as their example of being "into Alternative Music". From the moment I first heard the plinkety plunk love to love you giddiness of "Just Can't Get Enough" I'd been unable to fully commit to Depeche Mode. Like those who only visit the church on high holidays and weddings, I would buy the twelve inch singles they churned out as soon as they hit the import racks, paying nearly twice as much as I would have if I'd only waited a few weeks for the domestic release, but buy one of their albums?! Not until I could get a promo or cut out copy priced sensibly at $1.99, thank you very much. Besides, there was bound to be someone around me who had it and those who had it seemed to have entered into some unholy alliance where their end of the agreement was to play the damn thing to death.
Dipping into the recent Rhino/Mute re-issue program - and still, only when I find them in the second hand shops - I'm surprised by the obvious growth the boys demonstrated with each release and have to admit that I may have been wrong. While I have always been willing to claim "Construction Time Again" and "Black Celebration" as albums that I have (belatedly) loved, that love has been attributed to the fact that each one vividly recalls the time of my life in which they were released. Recent listening, however, makes me realize that maybe others were right all along - if not for the right reasons. As much as the sound is undeniably 1983, the lyrics are not only timeless but, in the case of "Told You So" for example, razor sharp and precise: "...standing in line the blind lead the blind/waiting and waiting for an overdue sign - brothers and sisters playing chinese whispers/if things aren't suited, then they'll get diluted..." As they grew increasingly aware of the world around them and the gray matter between black and white, their records became darker and fuller, exploring the many facets of a scenario without falling back on sloganeering.
Depeche Mode would eventually achieve what many of us thought unbelievable: "Personal Jesus" would become the biggest selling 12" single in Sire's history to date, they'd hit the US top ten with "Enjoy The Silence", and they'd debut at number one on both the US and UK album charts with "Songs of Faith and Devotion", all of which were pretty miraculous considering the humble beginnings of "Dreaming of Me" barely a decade before. Yet it probably wasn't until legendary hipster producer Rick Rubin had Johnny Cash record "Personal Jesus" that Depeche Mode felt truly justified in saying, "told you so".
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