September 2, 2008 Earworm

As big winds blew in to meet the hot air in St. Paul, surely someone other than I looked up and thought, "Hmmmm... if there is a god, I suspect that he's pissed". It ended up being the convention goers most likely when there just wasn't enough devastation to distract from their behind the hands whispering. And that's when it really got interesting so I grabbed a bucket of popcorn and Pepsi and a box of snow caps and settled in for the new day and night time soap.

Here's what we have so far: Campbell Brown has won my heart as the girl reporter with pluck, Nancy Pfotenhauer is the duplicitous bitch with an oily past, Tucker Bounds is the ineffectual man that just might surprise us, Nicolle Wallace is the keeper of the porcine faith while constantly crying wolf, and Sarah Palin is the Victim. No, not Bristol Palin. I think that Bristol is actually the MacGuffin.

The theme song to this entertainment? Eurythmics' "Paint A Rumour", of course.

from the sofa: Nicolle Wallace plays the Diana card

Nicolle Wallace, far right of course, smells bacon:

Nicolle Wallace showed up on NBC Today this morning, crying foul on all the liberal biased bloggers who spread malicious rumors after the announcement of Sarah Palin as McCain's choice for Vice-President. That these rumors were skewed in the details but were too on target for Republican comfort was not mentioned.

Said Poor Poor Nicolle as she stepped out of the shadow of the Ciacco-ian breath of Karl Rove, "The people that are in Alaska now are there for you and your colleagues who have descended on Alaska and are investigating the private lives - not just of Governor Palin, but of her children, of her teenage children, with a fervor the likes that I haven't seen since Princess Diana died in a car crash."

Well, bless her heart.

Well, I wouldn't have gone with the Diana comparison. Something a little more recent would be more effectual. Say, "since Bill Clinton found a unique way to keep his cigars from drying out." Or, "since our party cast dispersion upon the true heritage of Senator McCain's adopted daughter."

Mary Matalin likened the attention to a "hair on fire" response but I suspect that it's closer to a response to someone's "pants on fire". If only Bristol had stronger upper arm strength and never had to put that baby sibling down...

From the sofa: Tucker Bounds get tied up by Campbell Brown

Tucker is almost as full of crap as Nancy Pfotenhauer, but not quite. Yet, somehow more of a nancy than Nancy.

Skirting around the questions while searching for a skirt behind which he could hide, Tucker Bounds made a startling announcement about Sarah Palin. No, not that her teenage unmarried daughter is preggers - who cares about that if it's not a Democratic indiscretion. What made many sit up and say, "Huh?", was his intimation that Sarah Palin is Commander in Chief of the Alaska National Guard.

So now we know that the Republican party has yet another asshole who has no clue as to how government works and he's speaking for the party. Run, Elephant, Run!

I'm all about Bristol's "delicate condition" being a private matter but, when her mama's party spills the beans - and hopefully not the seed - it's obvious that they're setting up the "liberal media" to feed a machine that will allow them to whine on about "bias". Sure, sending Bristol stomping off to a convent might be tricky since Sarah is an E-Van-Gel-Li-Cal Christian but, what, doesn't this family have an unmarried aunt somewhere that needs helps with her convalescence?

Well, even a pro-choice guy like me thinks it's wonderful that little Bristol is keepin' her baby and "plans" to marry the daddy. Still, I wouldn't be surprised if we don't hear of an unfortunate miscarriage and hunting trip with Uncle Dick for teen-dad in the near future.

This is getting richer by the minute.