Yes.
I know.
It's not nice.
It's mongering hate.
It's vicious.
And it's rude.
But, hey, why sit idle on the sidelines, observing the crass action when you, yourself, can get in on the fun. Aren't you tired of being "above it"? Well, then... shoot John Gibson in the face. Why not? What else have you got to do right now? The laundry will wait.
I am your coach, baby, and I am putting you in the game.
Don't get me wrong. It's not that I believe that free speech should work only one way. No, I believe that everyone, regardless of their opinion, has the right to say what they want. Hell, I even defend the little-wienie'd neo-nazis' right to call for whatever atrocities they wish upon blacks, jews, and gay boys like me. I mean, isn't it better to know what they are really thinking? Now you know who you should not be having over for dinner or for a little back alley nnyick nnyick. Plus, you get to waste a few moments wondering why, if they are so supreme in their whiteness, should they be so concerned over the insignificant sub-humans that they are constantly whining about. Like John's comments on religions other than his own: "I would think if somebody is going to be -- have to answer for following the wrong religion, they're not going to have to answer to me. We know who they're going to have to answer to."
No,Jim, who? Ted Haggert?
I guess it's tough having all those Jews and Muslims camping out in his church of choice - oh, excuse me, what choice? There is but only one. That matters, that is. Damn all those people who don't believe in exactly what John believes; distracting him from his prayers to a blue eyed, blond haired, white washed Disney-Jesus.
Oh, poor John. It's hard out there for a cracker.
But really, the reason that I think someone should shoot John Gibson in the face is because of his face. Look at it. Take a good long look...
There!
See it?
Yup. I do, too. It's that look in his taxidermy upgrade eyes. He needs our help. He needs relief.
You know... he probably touches children. Inappropriately. That would explain his little rant on the population growth: "Do your duty. Make more babies... half of the kids in this country under five years old are minorities. By far the greatest number are Hispanic. You know what that means? Twenty-five years and the majority of the population is Hispanic. Why is that? Well, the Hispanics are having more kids than others. Notably the ones Hispanics call gabachos, white people, are having fewer." I bet he thinks the white ones taste better. The way peanut butter tastes better when spread all over white bread.
Vanilla, baby; let's not get too exotic. Too uppity, too diverse. Things go wrong when we do that. Look at Neopolitan, for chrissake? I mean, what flavor is it really?
I heard that he keeps the lopped-off foot of a homeless man in the back of his freezer. He pulls it out every now and then to suck on one of the toes, maybe. After he's enjoyed a hearty bowl of kitten stew...
This may stem from a traumatic childhood experience. Maybe he invited the boy from the poor family over to spend the night so that he could play with his pee-pee. Poor people are all stupid, right? Why else would they be poor? Stupid people will do what they are told because they are used to taking orders from people - they will keep a secret. But, maybe the poor boy laughed at John's pee-pee. Maybe it's really thin with a weird bend to the right (or worse - to da left, to da left), an over-sized head with, oh, I don't know... a purple spot on it. The boy laughed at how ugly and small it was when compared to his own long, thick horse like pee-pee. It was like a black man's pee-pee, of course. The poor are just like the blacks - closer to animals than better off, white Disney-Jesus worshiping decent folks.
John cried. He never forgot.
Maybe this explains his need to ridicule "Brokeback Mountain" and the death of Heath Ledger. Every time that he drifts off to that fantasy of taking Heath Ledger's long, thick, horse like cowpoker up his ass, writhing and bucking against Heath's taut and smooth young stomach, legs thrown over Heath's strong and broad shoulders, well... he just can't cum.
He remembers that poor little boy making fun of his bruised and askew little unit and it makes him sad. A sad John Gibson can't cum. And that makes him angry.
It can't be easy being John Gibson. Hell, his Fox bio doesn't even mention any schools he attended or any awards he may have won for his in-depth journalism. There are no accolades for any insightful observations. Nope, none of that. Just "John Gibson joined FOX News Channel (FNC) in September of 2000 and currently serves as the co-host of "The Big Story with John Gibson & Heather Nauert" (Weekdays/5-6 p.m. ET). The show examines all facets of the major news stories of the day and presents viewers with compelling interviews and discussions on breaking news events. Gibson also hosts "The John Gibson Show," a nationally syndicated radio program that provides top news coverage and features interviews with leading newsmakers.
Prior to joining FNC, Gibson was at MSNBC hosting the network's news talk programs, including "Newschat" and "Internight." He also served as substitute anchor for CNBC’s "Rivera Live." Preceding the existence of MSNBC, Gibson hosted a news program for "America's Talking."
Before his stint at "America's Talking," Gibson was a West Coast correspondent for NBC News Channel, where he supplied NBC affiliates with live reports on various breaking news events. Gibson also served as an NBC News correspondent based in California, where he provided extensive coverage of key news events, including the O.J. Simpson criminal trial, America's involvement in Mogadishu, Somalia and the invasion of the Branch Davidian Compound in Waco, Texas.
Gibson is also the author of The New York Times bestseller "Hating America" and "The War on Christmas.""
No. It's not easy being John Gibson. No respect. No respect at all. So, let's shoot John Gibson in the face. With this black-people-welfare funding, fag-loving, Jew-run, white folk persecuting, non-Disney-Jesus worshiping nation causing him so much pain, he'd be better off. He'd be in a better place. Like that farm your parents sent your dog to.
And then he could be a martyr for the cause! Think of the bumper stickers! The bracelettes! "What Would John Gibson Do?"
"But, Pres", you may be thinking, "If we shoot John Gibson in the face, who will entertain us?" Well, don't you worry about that, my little rootin' tootin' shootin' (gay?) cowfolk. As long as Rupert Murdoch has an anus, there will always be more like John Gibson coming along. And the next one might even be nuttier!
We should do this for him. Really, it's for the best. So, if you see him, shoot John Gibson in the face. But remember, if you are not an honest to God hip-hopper, be sure that you don't shoot yourself after you shoot John Gibson in the face. Keep in mind that, following the 2007 SuccessTech Academy shooting, John said, "I knew the shooter was white. I knew he would have shot himself. Hip-hoppers don't do that. They shoot and move on to shoot again. And I could tell right away because he killed himself. Black shooters don't do that. They shoot and move on."
Feel free to use anything that you have handy to shoot John Gibson in the face - eggs; paper clips; snow globes; rubber bands; spit balls; your load.... anything at all. Just make sure that your aim is true and that you shoot John Gibson in the face.
Please. Do not pass up this opportunity because, to paraphrase John Gibson, there is no point in passing up a good joke.
No comments:
Post a Comment